Eat, Drink, & Still Be Merry: Navigating the Holidays with an Eating Disorder

It’s the most wonderful time of the year……

The holiday season is a time of celebration.  Gathering with friends and family, remembering the blessings of the year.  Such a joyful time for many, but this can be a very difficult time for those in eating disorder treatment or recovery. 

For those who struggle with eating disorders the holidays can come with many challenges.  Anxiety, depression, and the food, food and more food can cause some to be filled with dread.  The good news…. there are ways to navigate the holidays that can make for a much more peaceful and less anxiety ridden season.  There are also many supportive resources and measures loved ones can take to make it a smoother, more joyous time for everyone.

Holiday tips for those struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder

Plan ahead and stick to the structure that has served you well.  This could mean keeping on schedule with your meal plan.  You may call ahead to parties and check out food options so you can be prepared.   We like to call this “coping ahead”.  This could also mean deciding in advance to be flexible with your meal plan and allowing yourself to eat a little more or less than you might typically. The holidays can be a time of growth in your eating disorder recovery.

Be Mindful.  The holidays can feel like a “hurried” season.  Take time to breathe, meditate, pray, and focus.  Use the grounding tools you’ve acquired in your treatment journey. Focus your thoughts on the reason for the season.

Exercise self-compassion.  If you are triggered and turn to ED behaviors to cope… it happens and it’s going to be OK.  Have grace and compassion for yourself.  Nobody expects perfection.  Especially during the most food intensive time of the year.

Reflect and celebrate progress.  Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s more comfortable to focus on what is not going well in recovery.  Challenge those thoughts at the end of this year!  Make a list of all the ways you’ve grown in your recovery.  Post a visual reminder of them so if you’re having a hard day you can remember how far you have come this year.

Reach out for support.  Your friends and family love and care about you. Let them know if you are having a tough day.  Call a supportive friend, attend EDA or an aftercare meeting if the holidays are feeling like too much for you to manage alone.  Be sure to let your treatment team know if you’re struggling. They are there to help you not just get through the holidays but to also ENJOY them.

Holiday tips for those supporting someone with an eating disorder

Please, please, please refrain from diet talk (i.e. “Have I told you I’m doing Keto and have lost 25#???”), good food/bad food talk, making comments about how many calories are in the eggnog or desserts on the table.  These types of comments aren’t helpful for anyone.  Focus on relationships and connecting with each other instead!

Focus on non-weight/appearance related topics at friend and family gatherings.

It is very typical to show up to Aunt Sally’s house and for her to greet you and say something like, “Oh sweetie, you look like you’ve lost some weight. You’re looking good!  Keep up the good work!”  If a person struggles with restriction or purging, comments like those just feed the eating disorder.  Not helpful.  OR if a person is working on restoring weight hearing the comment, “Oh, Suzie, you look SO much healthier than the last time I saw you”.  This person will be thinking “OMG, she thinks I’m getting too fat!” when he/she hears such comments. 

Instead, talk about your latest hobbies, new friends, trips you’ve taken, books you’ve read or movies. Steering away from weight/appearance makes the family/friend gathering feel like a much safer place.

Nobody needs to be the food police.  Unless your treatment team feels your loved one needs close monitoring or plating/pre-portioning of food, there’s no need to do so.  Refrain from pushing extra food or asking questions when your loved one goes for seconds.  This typically causes more anxiety for them.

We hope some of these tips will be helpful for you and your loved ones this year.  Above all else, take care of yourself.  Practice self-care, whatever that might look like for you.  Give yourself permission to say NO when you need to. Exit gatherings early if you need to.  Celebrate the way that feels best for YOU.   

We at Focus Integrative Centers wish you a happy holiday season!

Written by: Lisa Davis, MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian

 

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